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Find And Heal The Hurt That Runs Your Life - 4th Lesson
Every one of us has a hidden hurt from the past that runs our life. The automatic, subconscious avoidance of this hurt is responsible for all our upsets, all our self-sabotaging behavior and all our suffering. Every aspect of life that doesn't work can be traced to this hurt.
Here is how it works:
When you were a little child, you were pure love. You were happy, alive, and free. Unfortunately, you were born into a world that suppresses this state. As a result, you got hurt, and you got hurt a lot.
As a little child, the only way you could explain these painful losses of love was to blame yourself. In a moment of hurt, you bought the notion that you were worthless, not good enough, a failure, not worth loving, or in some other way, not okay.
This wasn't the truth, but to a little child, it was the only explanation that made any sense at the time. You then hated the very notion that you created. "No one can ever love me if I'm worthless. Worthless is a horrible way to be."
The moment you bought the notion that you were not okay, you created a mechanism that would then sabotage the rest of your life. From that moment on, the underlying focus of your life would be to avoid this hurt.
It's the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this hurt that sabotages our lives. Anything that triggers this hurt is perceived as a threat. To avoid this threat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. This in turn destroys love and gives power to whatever we are resisting.
Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do. Until you heal this hurt, you will be forced to repeat the past.
Ultimately, this hurt will always be some form of feeling "not okay." It's not the truth that you are this way; it's just a hurt. The truth and the hurt are totally separate.
To find your hurt, look for the words of "not okay" that are particularly painful. Are you worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, inferior, or a failure?
Don't look to see if it's true that you are this way. It's not the truth. Look to see if it would be painful if you were this way. The more painful the words, the closer you are to your hurt.
Here are some places to look:
1. What are your upsets? - Every time you have been upset will be a time when this hurt has been triggered. That's why you got upset. Write down every upset you can think of. Then go to the hurt that's under each upset, and ask yourself, "According to the hurt, what do those circumstances say about me?"
For example, if someone leaves you, this may say that you are not worth loving. If you are fired from a job, this may say that you are a failure. Find the words that hurt the most.
2. How is your relationship with your parents? - If you have had a difficult relationship with one or both of your parents, this is probably where your hurt began. Go back in time and put yourself in the hurt that you experienced as a child. What did your parents imply about you in their words and actions?
3. What do you resist in your parents? - Any characteristic that you resist in another person is an aspect of you that you resist in yourself. Find the characteristics that you resist most in your parents. Then notice how it would feel if you were this way. If this would be painful, write it down.
4. What are you driven toward? - Actually, we are never driven toward something; we are driven from something. For example, if someone is driven to succeed, that person is running from failure. If someone has to be loved, that person is running from some form of being unlovable. Find what you are driven toward and look for the opposite.
5. What are your biggest fears? - Make a list of all your fears. Then for each fear, find the hurt that you are avoiding. What would it say about you if your fear were to come true?
6. What are the areas of your life that don't work? - Any area of your life that doesn't work is an area where you are resisting. You resist because this area of life triggers your hurt. List the primary areas of your life that don't work and find the hurt that's under the resistance. According to this hurt, what do those circumstances say about you?
Find the words that most accurately describe your hurt. Remember, you are not looking for the truth. You are looking for the hurt. For most people, the bottom line hurt is worthless. What is the hurt that runs your life?
After you find the hurt, the next step is to heal it. Fortunately, the process for healing this hurt is relatively easy. This is because the hurt isn't based on fact. It's something you made up as a child.
In a moment of hurt, you bought the notion that you were worthless, not worth loving, a failure, or whatever your issue is. You then fought the very notion that you created. It's the fighting and resisting this notion that gives it all its power.
To have your hurt lose its power, you have to do the opposite of fighting it. You need to make peace with this part of yourself. As you do this, the hurt loses power and disappears.
As you own all the aspects of you, the good, the bad and the ugly, you become whole and complete. You cannot be threatened and you cannot be hurt. You become more able to flow with life. You become more effective and more able to have your dreams come true.
Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do. It's the key to creating a life that works for you instead of against you.
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO GET RICH THE PIC WAY?
WITHIN 30 DAYS OF CONSISTENT FOCUS, YOU CAN MAKE IT. GIVE IT A TRY.
Here is how it works:
When you were a little child, you were pure love. You were happy, alive, and free. Unfortunately, you were born into a world that suppresses this state. As a result, you got hurt, and you got hurt a lot.
As a little child, the only way you could explain these painful losses of love was to blame yourself. In a moment of hurt, you bought the notion that you were worthless, not good enough, a failure, not worth loving, or in some other way, not okay.
This wasn't the truth, but to a little child, it was the only explanation that made any sense at the time. You then hated the very notion that you created. "No one can ever love me if I'm worthless. Worthless is a horrible way to be."
The moment you bought the notion that you were not okay, you created a mechanism that would then sabotage the rest of your life. From that moment on, the underlying focus of your life would be to avoid this hurt.
It's the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this hurt that sabotages our lives. Anything that triggers this hurt is perceived as a threat. To avoid this threat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. This in turn destroys love and gives power to whatever we are resisting.
Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do. Until you heal this hurt, you will be forced to repeat the past.
Ultimately, this hurt will always be some form of feeling "not okay." It's not the truth that you are this way; it's just a hurt. The truth and the hurt are totally separate.
To find your hurt, look for the words of "not okay" that are particularly painful. Are you worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, inferior, or a failure?
Don't look to see if it's true that you are this way. It's not the truth. Look to see if it would be painful if you were this way. The more painful the words, the closer you are to your hurt.
Here are some places to look:
1. What are your upsets? - Every time you have been upset will be a time when this hurt has been triggered. That's why you got upset. Write down every upset you can think of. Then go to the hurt that's under each upset, and ask yourself, "According to the hurt, what do those circumstances say about me?"
For example, if someone leaves you, this may say that you are not worth loving. If you are fired from a job, this may say that you are a failure. Find the words that hurt the most.
2. How is your relationship with your parents? - If you have had a difficult relationship with one or both of your parents, this is probably where your hurt began. Go back in time and put yourself in the hurt that you experienced as a child. What did your parents imply about you in their words and actions?
3. What do you resist in your parents? - Any characteristic that you resist in another person is an aspect of you that you resist in yourself. Find the characteristics that you resist most in your parents. Then notice how it would feel if you were this way. If this would be painful, write it down.
4. What are you driven toward? - Actually, we are never driven toward something; we are driven from something. For example, if someone is driven to succeed, that person is running from failure. If someone has to be loved, that person is running from some form of being unlovable. Find what you are driven toward and look for the opposite.
5. What are your biggest fears? - Make a list of all your fears. Then for each fear, find the hurt that you are avoiding. What would it say about you if your fear were to come true?
6. What are the areas of your life that don't work? - Any area of your life that doesn't work is an area where you are resisting. You resist because this area of life triggers your hurt. List the primary areas of your life that don't work and find the hurt that's under the resistance. According to this hurt, what do those circumstances say about you?
Find the words that most accurately describe your hurt. Remember, you are not looking for the truth. You are looking for the hurt. For most people, the bottom line hurt is worthless. What is the hurt that runs your life?
After you find the hurt, the next step is to heal it. Fortunately, the process for healing this hurt is relatively easy. This is because the hurt isn't based on fact. It's something you made up as a child.
In a moment of hurt, you bought the notion that you were worthless, not worth loving, a failure, or whatever your issue is. You then fought the very notion that you created. It's the fighting and resisting this notion that gives it all its power.
To have your hurt lose its power, you have to do the opposite of fighting it. You need to make peace with this part of yourself. As you do this, the hurt loses power and disappears.
As you own all the aspects of you, the good, the bad and the ugly, you become whole and complete. You cannot be threatened and you cannot be hurt. You become more able to flow with life. You become more effective and more able to have your dreams come true.
Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do. It's the key to creating a life that works for you instead of against you.
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO GET RICH THE PIC WAY?
WITHIN 30 DAYS OF CONSISTENT FOCUS, YOU CAN MAKE IT. GIVE IT A TRY.
